Do you argue with your partner a lot? You may be in a negative cycle of having an argument and then making up. If you or your partner is disatissfied with the level of intimacy, they are more likely to start a fight about something seemingly random that makes you wonder why you started arguing over it at all. The after fight make up reward is seen as a pleasure so this seems to justify the argument. This is unhealthy behaviour and it could be that you and your partner do this in order to seek intimacy after the argument.

If you experience this in your relationship, take some time to reflect on why you argue and what it is that you fear about intimacy. If you can determine what this fear is and put steps in place to overcome the fear, you will better understand why you argue and the arguments will happen less as the need for intimacy is replaced by healthy connection.

 

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